So Wammy, host of Wammy Radio, tweeted me a video but because he didn’t speak Spanish was unable to fully comprehend the topic. I volunteered to translate the “18 Commandments” to the best of my Spanish to English knowledge.
WARNING! Video contains spoilers for many anime (and some Western cartoons) featuring Yuri scenes and moments up to the Spring 2018 Love to Lie Angle anime.
Here’s the lowdown. Baroness SethLiony is a Spanish Yuri Youtuber that reviews and discusses Yuri media (anime, manga, video games etc.). The video starts by briefly mentioning that most Yuri couples in anime consist of a Neko (sub) and a Tachi (domme) lesbian. The big question is what about the third type? These are the “Versatile” lesbians who possess traits of both Nekos and Tachis. Thus, for fun, the Baroness wrote “The 18 ‘Teko’ Commandments”. I’ll now do my best to translate and explain each and every one:
#1: Tekos do not identify themselves as neither Neko or Tachi: This means that because they are versatile there is no need for a Teko to categorize themselves as either. A Teko simply “is”.
#2: All anniversaries (birthdays, wedding, engagement, months in a relationship) are to be celebrated twice: This is because the Teko’s Tachi trait demands they divide their lovin’ evenly between her and her girlfriend/wife. Double the fun essentially.
#3: Under no circumstances are Tekos to complain about height difference: Regardless of whether the Teko is the same height, taller or shorter than their beloved it should not make a difference in the relationship.
#4: Tekos have full control of their Neko traits and are to use them when the time is right: Like Tachi Tekos are usually assertive and in control (Wear the pants in the couple) but also have the power to show their sensitive side at will without becoming as timid as Nekos.
#5: Tekos are proud of their “boyish” hobbies, jobs, traits and appearances if they have them: Should a Teko be “boyish” or “princely” and have hobbies or a job culturally associated with men like baseball or Nascar it does not make them less of a woman or “manly”. They are still women regardless of their hobbies or appearance (the way they look or dress).
#6: When Tekos blush their “hunger” doubles: Like Tachis Tekos have their moments when they blush profusely when complimented by their beloved or through other means. Should the reason of the blushing be “lovey-dovey” the Teko’s combined Neko and Tachi hormones go into a frenzy greatly increasing their sexual desires. And…
#7: Tekos openly confess their love out in the open: Should the time come when a Teko NEEDS to confess their true feelings to their beloved they need not care who is nearby. All they are to focus on is confessing their love for their destined other and getting that big smooch.
#8: Tekos are gifted kissers: Due to their combined traits Tekos have the keen sense of knowing how, when and where to give their soul mate S Rank smoochie woochies and for how long.
#9: Tekos are naturally born strong but should their girlfriend successfully break through their shell they are to become more Neko than Tachi: Basically if the Teko’s girlfriend successfully finds their weak spots the Teko’s Neko hormones overpower their Tachi hormones making them the new sub of the couple.
#10: Tekos are to only show their inner Neko to the one they love: Tekos are hardcore badasses who take names and show no mercy to incoming threats, especially ones who attack their beloved. However, only their girlfriend/wife is allowed to see their soft side.
#11: Tekos are to become aggressive when confronted about “pants wearing”: Essentially if a Teko is asked by their girlfriend/wife “Which one of us is the top/bottom?” expect the Tachi hormones to take complete control of the body and prepare for a war of words. (Viewers are free to grab some popcorn before the nukes are launched)
#12: On the battlefield Warrior Tekos will fight to assist and protect their girlfriend (inexperienced or a fellow warrior) to their last breath, even if costs them their lives: Self-explanatory.
#13: Tekos are twice as complicated as most women: For example, if a girl/woman’s love interest shows tsundere tendencies a Teko tsundere gets twice as angry, is twice as complex and becomes twice as sensitive.
#14: Teko love interests are to make things complicated for their love interests: It is programmed in the Teko’s DNA to intentionally make it hard for the one they love to understand their feelings. I think that is what the Baroness was going for based on the examples.
#15: Tekos have strong spirits: Tekos cannot stop moving: Tekos NEED to act. They NEED to “pounce”. They NEED to punch and kick baddies’ teeth down their throats, etc. To compensate for this Tekos are born with a strong healing factor should they be heavily damaged on the battlefield.
#16: Tekos can be cold as ice on the outside but soft as marshmallows on the inside: Self-explanatory.
#17: All Yuri Ships outside of 100% Yuri shows are, by the laws of YuriHalla, required to ALWAYS consist of two Tekos: Ruby X Sapphire and Bubbeline are examples of Double Teko couples.
#18: Tekos always pay attention to the very end of discussions: Or in this case the end of the Baroness video. This is because Tekos are gifted with god tier levels of patience and attentiveness.
There you have it. Comments down below in English and or Spanish. Spanish speakers are welcome to share their thoughts over on the Baroness’ video if they so wish.