Yuri Talk (Silly Edition): Ask The Lesbian (Spoilers Ahead)

This isn’t about an important topic or trend pertaining to yuri media it’s just some funny Q&A responses from legendary yuri characters. These are all in Spanish so I’ll translate them as simple as possible. So to fellow Spanish speakers I am not translating these “sessions” with 100% accuracy.

Special thanks to “Let’s Pray For Yuri Every Day” for all the “scoops”.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Oremos-por-el-yuri-de-cada-dia/162770980577469

WARNING! Spoilers for some anime and strong language.

Q&A HarupopoQ: To Haruka. If you liked Yuu, why did you fuck around with Mitsuki?

A: It’s because she looked a lot like Yuu-chan and besides…like Mitsuki-Kaichou said I don’t really know what love is even though I thought it was about kissing and groping tits and asses…apparently it’s something more.

Q&A UshioQ: To (Ushio) Kazuma. If you already knew about Sumi’s feelings for you and you felt the same way why the Macintosh did you wait 53 chapters to kiss her?

A: Because if I did it sooner and a cute, sweet and fragile girl showed up then I wouldn’t be able to hit on her.

Q&A KyoukoQ: To Kyouko. Out of curiosity, what happened in the final moments when you faced Sayaka after she turned into a Witch?

A: Not much really. She turned into a Witch, everything went black, Slender Man showed up, I turned into a Witch, the three (along with Homura) of us went to a cheap strip club and in the end I banged Sayaka as much as I wanted.

Q&A MiyukiQ: To Miyuki. Why did you never confess your true feelings to Shizuma.

A: Because Shizuma is into girls with bigger boobs than brains. Besides having sex in the meadows or in a stable aren’t my thing. I’m more refined than that.

Q&A Chitaru's confessionQ: To Chitaru. Why didn’t you kiss Hitsugi before dying?

A: Because I’m not a necrophiliac, just a pedophile.

Q&A KaoriQ: To Shizuma’s deceased ex-girlfriend (Kaori). Were you so good at having sex that Shizuma spent a long time banging other girls to find one better than you?

A: Shizuma couldn’t find a better sex partner than me because I gave her everything like true love, compassion, kindness, sex in the meadows, various kama sutra techniques, zoophilia and necrophilia among other things. Not even Nagisa could surpass me.

Q&A KotoneQ: To Kotone. How were you able to move into Shizuku’s house so easily?

A: Easy! To start off I’m just her “friend” (cousin) who is hanging out at home with her and I offered her mom an impressive amount of money to let me stay. If I offered her any more her daughter would practically be mine…

Q&A ChikaneQ: To Chikane. Why didn’t you “have your way with Himeko” more times? PS: You’re the best!

A: And…how do you know I didn’t? The truth is I “had my way with her” every night she stayed at my place but the content was “too risque” for television so we did it off the air. Hope that answered your question…teehee.

Q&A SachikoQ: To Sachiko. Why won’t give Yumi a damn kiss already!? All Maria-sama fans want to see that.

A: Because “Maria-sama is watching over us”…otherwise I would have taken Yumi to bed a long long time ago.

Q&A HomuciferQ: To Homucifer. How did it feel that despite everything you did for Madoka she “Friendzoned” you in the end?

A: I felt really bad, but now it no longer matters as I had recreated the world how I saw fit and proceded to “have my way” with her as sadistically as possible. I have a pink haired friend who is also a time traveler. She gave me the idea.

(The person could not be reached (or found) for comment after asking that question.)

Q&A TokakuQ: To Tokaku Azuma. Why the hell did you decide to protect Ichinose? You want to “shoot” her in the end, right?

A: Exactly!

(I wonder how many readers will get this one?)

Q&A Tokaku 2Q: To Tokaku again. When the hell are you planning to kiss Ichinose? TELL ME WHEN!?

A: Be patient. This isn’t Sakura Trick where they kissed in the first episode and they almost groped their asses after every kiss. And I’ll kiss her when my “trigger” is ready.

Q&A Shizuma 1Q: To Shizuma. How many sexually transmitted diseases do you have?

A: The usual ones! Herpes, sifilis, gonorrhea, lice from Amane’s horse though not many. I’m also not that chick from Shoujo Sect!

Q&A Shizuma 2Q: To Shizuma again. How many Miator, Spica and Le Rim students did you “go on wild and crazy adventures” with?

A: I never went on “adventures” with anyone.The bitches willingly “opened their doghouse doors” for me to come visit.

Q&A TamaoLast but not least we end this “intriguing” Q&A into the lives of legendary lesbians with one Tamao Suzumi who answered what was possibly the most asked about question of all in the yuri nation.

Q: To Tamao. What happened between Nagisa and you after the etoile elections? How is your relationship?

A: The days went by like normal and I treated her like my friend, who after getting over “it” uploaded pictures of her taking a shower or sleeping on the internet…she never found out it was me…

About OG-Man

Yuri and Slice of Life are my anime passion.
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20 Responses to Yuri Talk (Silly Edition): Ask The Lesbian (Spoilers Ahead)

  1. Frozenrain says:

    Geez, it’s because of this I stopped long ago searching, commenting or reading any anime-related things in my native language. Anyway, you did a fine job with the translations, thanks for sharing I guess.

    Like

  2. the_elevator_man says:

    Good god them Latin sector…nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hace tiempo que no me reia tanto, gracias por el aporte… lo mejor fueron los chistes de Akuma no Riddle xD

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cheshire Cat says:

    “I’m not a necrophiliac, just a pedophile.” ==> You got me there, Chitaru =))))..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mercuria says:

    This talk just made my day. Thanks for sharing, OG-sama!

    Couldn’t stop laughing at Miyuki’s, Chikane’s, and Sachiko’s part xD

    Liked by 1 person

  6. kitsu260 says:

    Dammit, for some reason I don’t visit Facebook.

    Like

  7. Lena K. says:

    I really lost it at Chitaru’s part πŸ˜€
    Thanks for the translation~

    Like

  8. yurimylove says:

    my own question to Haruka, “Since Yuu can defy gravity, have you two taken advantage of that and engaged in some unusual making out positions not shown in your TV series?”

    my own question to Kotone, “Is there a ‘kissing cousin’ joke to be made?”

    my own question to Ushio, “Why the devil did you wear a stupid mask when you practiced kissing with Sumi and wasted a whole season? You know there’s no second season for you!”

    my own question to Miyuki, “You do realize that every other girl at the Strawberry dorms is a lesbian right? Get over shizuma and pick someone else already will you?”

    P.S. the above are rhetorical questions, not necessary to answer them XP

    Like

  9. Hrithika The Shipping Queen says:

    This is possibly your funniest post. LOL @ Chikane AKA The Yuri Goddess’s answer. Tokaku better get her trigger ready soon, hmph. Forever laughing at Shizuma

    Like

  10. x says:

    This answers all of the ? of some of the shows that didn’t finish right or the characters comments after the series ends.
    I would have told Tamao never stop getting Nagisa

    Like

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